Rally 'Round the Cheese Ball!

They come in all shapes and sizes, AND nationalities. Around the cheese ball at a party is where the action is and I've been making them for at least ten years. Everything from Christmas trees to angels to heart shapes—heck, even Casper the Friendly Cheese Ball. Cream cheese & scallions are all you need to get started! To see some of the cheesiest I've made, scroll below!


Cheese Ball We Have Heard on High. In Ex-cheesis Deo! (*groan*, sorry.)

There are rainbow cheese balls in summer.

For my annual Christmas open house, I've done an Internationally-themed Christmas tree-shaped "ball" for the past years. I even name them. Call me crazy . . . "ok you're crazy!"


2012 Fabiola, the Fiesta Cheese Christmas Tree MEXICO

2013 Giovanna, the Asiago Cheese Christmas Tree ITALY

2014 Chantal, the Chèvre Cheese Christmas Tree FRANCE

2015 Bruno, the Bavarian Cheese Christmas Tree GERMANY

2016 Pooja, the Paneer Cheese Christmas Tree INDIA

2017 Camilla, the Cheddar Cheese Christmas Tree UK

2018 Beatrix, the Royal Dutch Gouda Cheese Christmas Tree HOLLAND


Look, it's Pooja the Paneer tree!

This is Queen Beatrix, the Royal Dutch Gouda Cheese tree from Holland. I make the flags myself too. This tree’s ceremonial flags are the standard flag of the Netherlands with the orange pennant since Beatrix is a royal cheese tree. This year the open house party truly was a "Beatrix-mas."

Bruno the Bavarian!

And of course, here's Camilla, all dressed up and ready for a spot of tea . . . I held an online poll to name this one — it was between Duchess Kate's daughter Charlotte, and Camilla. The latter strong-armed her way into the lead with hardly any effort. Poor little Charlotte never knew what hit her . . .

The Christmas tree cheese balls are made using a sawed-off wooden paper towel holder covered with plastic wrap and aluminum foil as the core, then I build the cheese mixture up into the tree shape on that, spread that with green-tinted whipped cream cheese, pat a ton of chopped parsley into the sides, then add the many-colored grape tomato "ornaments" with toothpicks. This next photo is what I call step TWO, after you blend the cheese mixture together - this is the "naked" phase, in fridge, before the green cream cheese layer I just mentioned. I believe this was Beatrix. Sorry Beatrix, a bit undignified for a queen . . . the next day you appeared in all your finery.

For the ingredients, you can do almost anything. Any cheese that shreds nicely will work, with cream cheese as a foundation for firmness. I literally do it differently each time, sometimes I throw in bacon, always sliced scallions and a bit of hot sauce . . . For the specifics of one recipe, see the Cheesenstein link here, and towards the end of this article, which is always a helpful starting point.

I did a Hanukkah dreidl one year when the first night lined up with Christmas Eve, for the observant in our dinner party. We did not try to spin it before partaking.

My wedding cheese ball. 🎶 "Cheeeese, look at the two of us, strangers in many waays . . ."🎶

You saw my angel at the beginning. It's amusing to see before, during and after shots of these edible creations. The frequent final state I call "utter decimation." Good for taking out your aggressions if you're one of the more strung out guests at the party.

Now to come full cheeseball, er, circle, my inspiration for this new tradition all started back in 2009 when I decided to make this recipe from Taste of Home. The "Cheesenstein" cheese ball!

"And then there's Cheesenstein!" An indulgent guest, "Zom-Bea Arthur," poses with His Cheesiness.

This really HAS been a cheesy article.

If you miss this holiday season and can't wait for Halloween or Christmas next year, you'll be glad to note that April 17 is National Cheeseball Day. And in 2021 it's a Saturday! Paaaaaar-tay!


Bonus joke:

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

A: Nacho cheese!


And that's all, folks!

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